My dearest A–
You’re growing so fast and I just feel so compelled to tell you how sad, but exciting that is for me. You’ve blossomed already, at the sweet little age of 14 months. I can already see your personality shining through. You are patient but yet persistent. You are loving and gentle but yet strong. You have your daddy’s quiet and laid back personality and my eyes and stubbornness.
We’re at a very troubling age right now. You’re learning so much about the world, and there are so many things that I need to tell you to stay away from. Parenting is so tough, and I think saying ‘no’ has been the hardest part for me. But I am not your friend, I am your parent. I want you to be able fly to all corners of the world, but not without learning how to use your wings first.
I say ‘no’ to protect you from bad things, to teach you right from wrong, so that you may learn to respect others and learn how to behave appropriately. I say ‘no’ because I want you to grow up to be a kind, loving and genuine person in this bleak and troubled world.
I say ‘no’ because I love you.
I know you don’t understand any of this yet, but I hope one day we can look back and laugh at our difficult days. We don’t have many at this point; you are such a phenomenal little girl. You and I, we’re a team, and I know your ups and your downs, before you even know them. I can see your struggles in your big brown eyes and I can hear your successes by the shrieks you let out.
You, already, are more than I ever could have dreamed of in my daughter. I am so blessed that God trusted me to raise you, and I am trying my best to honor Him in teaching you about the world. Together we’ll learn. We’ll learn how to respect each other and how to listen to each other. We’ll learn how to make the best chocolate chip cookies together, and we’ll have to learn how NOT to spend all daddy’s money shopping.
I know we will have more ups and downs in the future, but for right now, this is enough. We’ll get through this stage and move onto something else. And then we’ll get through that stage and move on again. This is what life is. We learn a lot along the way. Some lessons take longer than others. But together, we’ll get through it.
I know it sounds cliche’ but I love you more than life itself. It’s a love so deep that I can’t even describe it. You’ll learn one day, when you have your own kids. Hopefully your dad will let you get married one day, so you may have your own kids….
With all the love I have in my heart,